she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
