I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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