You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
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She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
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I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
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