You're going to have to start masturbating with your left hand. Or with someone's vagina
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
At a party. It smells like teen pregnancy and sadness in here.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
Randomize
