Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
How's my sex life is me mastubating next to her dog. that's how it's going.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
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