this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Here is your half hour reminder. Meet you at emergency room.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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