if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
You asked me how red your eyes were... they were shut.
Randomize
