I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Did you put my shoes in the freezer.
Nope. I did however put them in the kiddie pool you pissed in in the living room before Tyler put them in the freezer. Ass hole.
Randomize
