is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
Thinking and hoping ice cream is the answer to my problems
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
