you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Found a trail of Taco Bell hot sauce packets through the garage to our back door and cheese in my bra. I'll say it was a successful Sunday Funday.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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