I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Seriously. Are we going out tonight? If we're not, I'm going to put on sweatpants and do drugs.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
