just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
I look at sleeping with him as a way to get up in the world. He will lead me on to bigger and better penises.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
