I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Guess who's now on the no-fly list? If you guessed me, you'd be right.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Randomize
