Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
ya ever know whats down there. always send some fingers in first to scout the situation. fingers are not used for pleasure. they're used for covert missions.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
Randomize
