its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
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