as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
I woke up to him yelling "WHO SLEEPS WITH A BEER IN THEIR HAND?!?" this of course, startled me awake and made me spill the aforementioned beer. So I guess the a answer is- not this girl, not anymore. Asshole
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Randomize
