Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
