there's just something about her that screams "i'm into chicks who wear flannel"
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
3pm strippers are depressing
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
You ate ashes out of my bong
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