He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
You insisted on calling your mixture of Bacardi & powdered milk "a Jamacian Facial."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I found condoms in the back yard from you and your boyfriend. My house isnt a motel
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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