he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
