he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
Someone signed my nipple.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize