in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
North Korea, Best Korea!
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
i got last night's adventure to take the garbage out when he was leaving. my vagina is THAT good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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