Rock
Scissors
Fuck
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
Is there something wrong with us? Seriously.
Possibly, but I'd rather not fix it.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
