My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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