Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Is there a nice way of saying 'touch my penis or i dont really wanna hangout"?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
You were greeting everyone with " Hi I'm Jess show me your dick" whether they were dudes or not.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
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