The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
It's 4PM and I'm finally awake.. I'm covered in dog fur and shame. I'd say it counts as a good night.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm pretty sure I just gave myself third degree burns from punching my pizza.
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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