STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
