Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I just love that it's Veterans Day because I know in my heart that I have serviced some of their brethren in the dirtiest, hottest, most shameful ways possible.
Remember when you laughed that I downloaded a “fireplace” station on my Roku? I just woke up butt naked on my couch with my fireplace station playing. So there, guess that shows you. Now excuse me while I go back to sleep in front of my fireplace.
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