he is naked. in. my. bed. happiest day. of my. LIFE.
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
You are the best. Or certainly adequate for tempering my unholy desires.
That's the nicest thing you've ever said to me.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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