I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
I just criticized a porno's use of editing. Film school is ruining me.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
