So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Thanks for not stopping me when I decided to call my mom at 2 in the morning to ask her where I was born
He did not appreciate the "you did reuse the diamond" comment when looking at his new fiance's ring.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
I almost tried texting you with my pipe. Holy fuck this is good shit.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
