Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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