If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
I just beat off to a cartoon porn video. what has my life come to
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I'm in the freezer. Shit took away any trace of hangover outa my body.
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
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