After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
I already plan to donate my brain to science so they can attempt to fully understand the complexities of my existence
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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