P.S. theres no milk for breakfast, but theres plenty of beer or red wine. you decide.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
How do u explain cocaine to a 9 year old?
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Randomize
