So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
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