Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
