If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
He was so good, that I'm pretty sure he fucked his religion into me. P.S. I'm Jewish now.
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
I've entered the world of uncircumcised penises. It's disgusting.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
Randomize
