I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
yes we were fucking thats why i put "watching a movie" in quotations
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
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