Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
I'm riding in a wheelchair, being pulled by a golf cart. You need to be here.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
You have to summon your inner elephant
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
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