i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Im trying to find an appropriate gift to your mom for getting both you and your sister on birth control within a week, any suggestions?
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
