FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Jesus himself couldn't make a better sandwich
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
My night has consisted of googling cat penises and creating a Tinder profile.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
