It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Well no need to be a stranger, even if you aren't interested in joining my bisexual polygamist marriage. New city, new friends.
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
