i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
