I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
seriously though if NH has the largest penis size... the rest of America must be very disappointed.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
Sometimes I look at her and just start choking. She is that much of an evil entity.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
