In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I knew we were gonna fuck after she told me she's seen that Porno before
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
These margaritas aren't just going to regret themselves.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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