I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
