Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I'm glad my gym is open 24 hours..I stopped in on my way home to puke from the bar
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Someone posted a printout of my tits on my door this morning! Where did they get this photo!?!
The claw marks on my back are healing nicely. Just thought you should know.
My bad. Next time I'll wear mittens.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
