Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
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