My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
