Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
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