just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize