so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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