I feel great
I just peed on a car
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
Slut skills are useful in every country.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
Topless Tuesday? One of us will be really happy the other not so much.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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