They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
They're either celebrating their tax money or trying to kill each other.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
Randomize
