Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
Yes, i finally made it. but let me tell you...i can smell myself right now in class right now, this scent is called alcoholism.
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
