this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
When I told her that her boyfriend was making out with another chick, all she said was "which one"
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I rarely go in there. Unless it's for mini cadbury eggs and whiskey.
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
