it's like iHOP with fire
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
You need to come get me. I'm pretty sure that gravity's going to crush my brain
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
You described pouring milk in your strawberry cereal as a glittering magnificent water fall, skimming over the mountain and little strawberry citizens.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
