Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
Randomize
