i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
He bought me a oreo ice cream cake with "thanks for not calling the cops!" written in icing. If that doesn't sum up winter break, I don't know what does.
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I just saw puke on the road at the same stoplight i threw up at sunday morning! Makes me smile inside.
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
