i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
im having a threesome with these popsicles
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
Dude, the cops never think it's as funny as you do.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
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