he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Randomize
