would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
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Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
The heart of my unhappiness in my job is that it's not a place where coworkers and I can draw dicks on everything to amuse each other
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
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