I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
I was worried if he didn't show me his penis, he would kill himself
Just so we both are on the same page, I have no solid plans as to where I'll be sleeping tonight.
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
Randomize
