This girl wants me to lick her pits
pits??
Yeah pits, I think I still go for it though
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
