just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Responsible roommate: 1. Someone who takes a huge shit at work so as not to clog the toilet at home.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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