there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
That's how pantless uber rides happen
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
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