I just puked in my fish tank. Helloooooo summer.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
When the shrooms kicked in we both simultaneously realized we were not the right puzzle piece for the dubstep puzzle.
We made eye contact and were like we are not welcome here, the ravers are onto us and we need to get the fuck out before we get shuffled upon
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
